Brilliant!

..and all they stand for.
Nasty freeloading little rodents.
They should bring back all the trappings of foxhunting, except with midgets on shetland ponies led by chihuahuas racing through Hyde Park laying waste to every squirrel extant.
Crassly poulist enough?

I have read several pieces about the grey squirrel cullings over the last few months and without exception the glee with which these pompous twats despatch these creatures really turns my stomach. These chinless morons would be out pursuing foxes and tearing them pieces for fun if the law still allowed it (many of them still do, anyway) and so in an attempt to sate their inbred bloodlust, they happily blast away at grey squirrels instead (and probably anything else small and furry that moves, at the same time). I would have more time for these people if they actually admitted that they do it for fun rather than conservation.

Oh, and having been active in the animal rights movement for twenty five years, I am disinclined from experience to believe a damn word of what the National Trust says and much more likely to believe Sir Paul.

I loved Andrew Collins' piece, and I'm not always a fan of his writing but he gets full marks from me.

And since when did something being "government approved" add any fucking weight to anything?

I rather enjoyed it as made a nice change from the usual 'The music industry is in turmoil' or 'look at the beard on that old bloke' type stuff. As for the squirrels and the toff - it's not just toffs who have rodent related bloodlust, Mark E Smith was at it over the summer.

Wasn't 'Populism' the third album from Crass?

...got infected with a parasite would he take it to the vets? It's the parasite's gig, after all. What right do we have to interfere?

Seems to me there are more furry creatures in my garden than there are in the country. I think they go and look where the newsagent delivers most copies of The Guardian and then move in there. I envisage squads of people on foot in hunting pink, leaping over fences and parping on hunting horns, rending the peace of Sunday mornings with blood curdling cries of "squirrel hoooey"....

He should have his own animated adventures. Or maybe like Tufty he could be a safety icon for the naughties.

'Billy Badger went out with his knife in his pocket but forgot to wrap it in a bandana to stop hurting himse;f and so he doesn't leave fingerprints.....'

...is a one man media industry though - radio shows, TV shows, books, writing most of the Word the other month, books, film reviews, unfunny podcasts, etc etc I suppose quality is going to slip occasionally. And I speak as one who generally likes his stuff. Maybe he is actually a collective, rather than one bloke?

I think you should look at this.

I must admit looking at my waistline I do not think Usain Bolt would need to avail of pebbledash to evade me . In our family history we also carry the dark stain that the "oldman " is/was responsible also for most of Ilford's Louvre (spelling?) windows .

Also do you think we have the Word blogs own version of Hale and Pace and the microwave cat ?
Feelings appear to be running high . Maybe we should introduce a different thread . " what do you say to Prince on your doorstep if he is wearing squirrel "? Come to think of it, he probably only needs one .

the cutest animal I have ever seen. Its like that annoying git Teddy Ruxpin made flesh. Fuck red squirrels, there's a new daddy in town

...is both cute, and rather sinister.

I want a Laotian rock rat for Christmas

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/7783488.stm

Failing that, can I have the world's heaviest potato

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/7771042.stm

I’ve just read Andrew Collins article (my copy of the mag only arrived today!) and it’s typical of the medias view on balanced science reporting i.e. they get some who spent of his time in Biology class drawing the ELO logo and probably would have a hard time describing the difference between a gene and chromosome and will talk about “fast food being full of chemicals” and get him to write about science. This is contrast to the fact that they probably wouldn’t get a member of Scooch to write a long piece on Dylan. Collins’ is curiously reactionary view of the modern world has been given far too much space in The Word and I’m getting frankly tired of it.

It’s hardly worth addressing the piece but the one thing Andrew misses out is that not only do grey squirrels displace red squirrels in most habitats but also do considerable damage to trees. Freed from pressure from predators grey squirrels thrive and have time in their day for displacement activities which include the chewing and debarking of trees especially young ones: this is causing serious damage to our woodlands, a habitat that is increasingly rare in Britain. Protection of habitats is the only sensible way forward for protecting our fauna and flora hence partly the cull. I do acknowledge that conservation language can veer into “racist” terminology and this is to be avoided and given a choice the hunting shooting brigade wouldn’t be my choice of the people in the media discussing this issue.
It is a shame that this complex issues has got wound up in class war although obviously this does have role to play being as who owns most of the woodland in the UK but I think it detracts from the argument. I appreciate that Andrew won’t accept the official view from Government .DEFRA etc as this is coming from the science based establishment and he is on record as being almost fundamentally viscerally opposed to their view of the world.

I also do believe we should have a range of voices discussing science it is just that it is arts graduates who run the media and they tend to have the loudest voices in this. Science’s empirical nature is also at odds to common critical debate, as David Hepworth pointed out you can’t say who the best footballer team is it’s a matter of personal opinion, you can however say that light has been observed to always travel at certain speeds under certain conditions. This isn’t to dismiss the role of interpretation in science but it isn’t the singular bedrock it is the discussion of the arts.

Science gets a rum deal in media also largely because it is complex and not easily reduced, it requires knowledge and background in the audience and it also requires a certain kind of thinking which from his many pieces of the subject Andrew Collins rejects out of hand. Science can also be counter intuitive.

Lastly I acknowledge that “think” pieces are designed to produce comment, I just wish that media would occasionally offer some REAL balance in these debates and commission pieces by people who have wider and deeper knowledge of the subject or should I expect a 5 page article by Geri Halliwell on Leonard Cohen in the next issue?

There's nothing worse than writing an inflammatory column and nobody noticing, so thank you for all your comments, whether in agreement with my insane views or otherwise.

I stand by my printed words, obviously - or else why would have I put my name to them? = but I accept that not everybody will agree with my extreme stance. That's fine. But comparing the squirrel to a bacterium seems a bit outlandish, as does comparing the squirrel cull to a cure for Aids. My "extremism" is merely based on a gut instinct that we are not entitled to manage animal populations and get a big, macho kick out of it, which I hope is what my column addressed. Listen once again to the bloodthirsty language of the aristocrats I quoted. What drives this kind of bloodlust?

I am a man who refuses to kill flies, and often saves them from drowning. This is my gig. As for agriculture, well, I do my best not to tacitly support the factory farming of animals, wherever I can. I'm not perfect - who is? - but I do try not to induce suffering in my fellow creatures. If that makes me anti-science (and I don't buy that it does), sorry for the implication. I can't help my gut instinct, which is that "management" of the animal kingdom is a bit like the "management" of Native Americans or Aborigines. Where do we get the authority to do it?

I don't see why you have to show your science degree before you may formulate a personal opinion on science-based issues. I have plenty of views on politics too but I don't have a political science degree. And I have plenty of views on art, but I don't have an art degree. (Actually, I do, but I don't discount anyone who doesn't have one from having an opinion on Francis Bacon or Barbara Hepworth.)

Let's not get too high-minded about this. I have spoken my views, however crazy they may be, on the squirrel issue. Now you have spoken yours. It's almost, hey, a democracy.

As for the "crass populism" - the original charge against me - I wish I was populist. My views on science and nature always tend to rile the majority. I think the original post was populism, not my column. I'm not saying it's crass. Crass is a value judgement, and a subjective one. I wouldn't be so quick to call someone's deeply held point of view "crass".

...hates grey squirrels with a disturbing passion. The very sight of one in the garden is provocation enough for him to rise to his feet, unlock the kitchen door and then chase it back onto the golf course, while making threatening growling noises.

I have told him on numerous occasions that this behaviour is likely to end with him being discovered lying face-down on the lawn, having suffered a massive coronary. And furthermore, that the last thing he is likely to see is the squirrel bounding playfully back up the garden path to the bird table, where it will shake sunflower hearts out of the hanging feeder with impunity.

I don't chase the grey squirrels, having chosen to regard them as individuals rather than as the vanguard of an invasive species, intent on annexing the UK and subjecting its human and animal population to long hard centuries of brutal sciurine tyranny. I am also going to put myself out on a limb somewhat in predicting an impending economic Armageddon, where the pound will be devalued to a point at which acorns and nuts become a viable currency, and squirrels the bankers of choice.

Like Mr Collins my bleeding heart tendencies extend towards other much maligned species. The origami birds and fish suspended from my bedroom ceiling are the perfect habitat for spiders. I was overjoyed a few years ago when I discovered the bodies of several silk-bound flies inside what was effectively the belly of a paper shark.

Hmm - it appears someone on the internet is wrong, again.

Martin, you accuse me of peddling "hate" in my piece. Against whom? The Liberal peer who takes such obvious pleasure in culling thousands of squirrels? I don't hate him. I don't want to be like him, that's all. That kind of bloodlust disturbs me, whether it's directed against animals or people. What a pansy I must be. But how is that in any way anti-science?

As for the wider point about the way science is reported in the media. What are you attacking me for? I have written a piece expressing a personal view in a music magazine in a column that allows me to write about "other things". That's all I've done. We're all entitled to our opinion. I look around me and form views. You're right, on the whole, I'm sure, about the nature of degrees held around the Word office; it would be a bit weird if those who worked on a music magazine had science degrees. Not out of the question, just unlikely. The pro-science lobbyists are aiming their rocks at the wrong window here. (I still fail to grasp why this is a "science" matter. It's about shooting squirrels.)

I mention saving flies from drowning to show that my love of living creatures is not based on furriness or cuddliness. The red squirrel and grey squirrel are equally cute, so you can't accuse me of taking sides based on fur or cheeky faces.

Chris, you seem particularly cross. You write, "I just wish that the media would occasionally offer some REAL balance in these debates and commission pieces by people who have wider and deeper knowledge of the subject." The balance after an opinion piece surely comes in forums like this one?

Then you add, "Or should I expect a 5 page article by Geri Halliwell on Leonard Cohen in the next issue?" Meaning what? That musicians should not be allowed an opinion unless they can produce certificates proving their educational qualification to do so? It seems a facetious dig, and I'm not sure at whom? I have clearly wound up a certain type of person with my views. You seem to feel victimised. It's amazing to me how extreme the reaction has been by some.

I quite like the idea of taking the squirrel on to the golf course...That's where you can really teach them a lesson...

I do have opinions on both grey squirrels and the Mitfords that go slightly deeper than my gut reactions to both ('shoot them') but I was more interested in the question of why I was reading about them in the magazine of Intelligent Life on Planet Rock. I get all that stuff in the Guardian and the Observer. What exactly was the USP of that piece?

But in the cold light of day I've just re-read the original post from Martin. He says, "It’s a government approved project done in consultation with the RSPB, The National Trust and the Forestry Commission." So? Does that mean I should like it? If I used "the language of extremism," it is because I hold an extreme view. To me, "genocide" is mass murder of living beings. How else would you describe the killing of 19,500?

By my "perverse logic", I am told that I must also disallow "scientists to seek cures for Aids" because viruses also have rights. You see, this is what I dislike about the science lobby - they seek to ridicule a civilian with their own logic, but it serves only to make them look silly. To humourlessly state, "Mr Collins substantiates his argument with an ancient quote from that renowned expert in conservation biology, Sir Paul friggin’ McCartney," completely bypasses the fact that I quoted him for a joke. I never said he was an expert in anything! You can take my column apart piece by piece and run it through a series of rigorous double-blind scientific tests and no doubt it would be found wanting. But it did not appear in a scientific journal, nor in a newspaper's science section.

"This article ... belongs in the tabloids," we are told. It's not an "article", it's an opinion piece and clearly presented as such with my big face at the top of it. Also, I take great care to dress up my opinions in self-effacing honesty - I made my point about the Mitfords to show how quickly our deeply-held beliefs can be inverted. I deliberately set myself up for a fall, and then get called "smug". It seems I can't win.

Luckily, my next column is about Arctic Monkeys. No, really. So we can all sleep soundly in our beds come the New Year. Poor old unloved science will be safe once again.

..do one on Creationism.

Can't be bothered to read everything that's been written above but I just wanted to say I was apalled by the column Andrew Collins wrote. In fact next time I see a grey squirel I might just ring its scrawny neck just to spite him.

It's not quite as ill informed and misleading as the one he did on mobile phone masts causing cancer a while back though, that was beyond the pale.

Andrew, you're a music journo, Word is a music mag, right? So how about sticking to music, it's far more interesting than squirels and irrational beliefs are far more acceptable when you're talking about something based on opinion rather than something based on cold hard scietific facts.

Those bastard grey squirrels have destroyed Twang Jr's bird feeder thing full of nuts.

... I expect much higher standards in a published magazine like Word. This opinion piece belonged on your blog. I have nothing against non-scientists having opinions about science. Someone like P J O'Rourke or Tom Wolfe could probably write something genuinely witty and insightful on this topic. But I suspect they would show at least some reverence for facts and established knowledge. They would also go a bit further than browsing the Observer to get their story.

I am not trying to ridicule you with my logic. I am simply trying to get to the bottom of why you said what you said. If you think that killing grey squirrels is wrong because they are cute and cuddly then just come out and say it. Don't dress it up in half-baked scientific verbiage that only serves to expose your ignorance.

It was "squirreled" away

Nuts?

Arf.

Possibly, it could go in Red

I think at next years press awards you'll get a honourary gong from every newspaper columnist for your phrase "What a closed world it would be if we all had to stick to what we know" . But what would i know being of a scientific bent with my electrickery and that, oh and thanks for telling us to loosen up.
anyway I'm off to see if uncut have got the bass player from suede to write about his thoughts on Monoclonal antibodies oh and you could try taking more water with your homeopathy.....

Now that's something we all must surely be in favour of...

I didn't like Andrew's piece, not for the subject matter but the style and tone of it, which was of the level of Richard Littlejohn and his ilk. If I want to read badly written and sensationalist "opinion pieces" I'd buy the Daily Mail or the Wapping Liar, not The Word

slaughter lead to an all out war against Super Furry Animals? We're through the looking glass here, people....

All methods of squirrel extermination to be banned except throwing shoes at them. A fair contest for brer squirrel and a much-needed shot in the arm for the ailing shoe manufacturing and retailing industries.

...I suggest you move to the Australian outback. Plenty out there, and I'm sure they'd all welcome you with open wings.

Merry Christmas to the lot of you. Squirrels as well.

Andrew's piece just passed my by, I must have been in speed-read mode, excited at getting my issue early. I promose to re-visit it and keep my opinions to myself. Or not. That's the beauty of The Word. Long my it continue.

The Beatles were good...

I thought I would try a light hearted attempt to show Science and Art can live side by side . Tom was a maths teacher after all .

ps any one read Robert Benchley's Down with Pigeons . FTR I happen to be a long term veggie but have no qualms about the death of animals .

For anyone who hasn't read Andrew's piece yet, I've cleverly linked to it here.

Andrew has stated that his piece was clearly an opinion piece, and we're all entitled to an opinion. Sure, if he'd written about something I was very knowledgable about and I felt he'd got something wrong or it was factually innaccurate. I might even try and persuade him he was wrong on something, but he's allowed to think whatever he wants. I like Andrew's pieces, mostly because I find his writing entertaining and it must be a fairly widely-held opinion as he's a successful journalist.

Mind you, I'm a fan and regular poster on your blog, Andrew, and it does seem you only come over to this site when a thread is about you. Are you just a serial lurker or do you have web spies on the lookout for criticism?

....when Fraser & I were posting the funny animal clips. Its all got a bit nasty now. Can we stop?

I didn't think much of the piece in question when I read it, although I do remember thinking how smugly the closing Mitford related denouement arrived.

I was irritated by all the class war rhetoric delivered long before the closing paragraph finally admitted that the Grey Squirrel is not a native species.

Linking opinions expressed about the cull to opinions held regarding the upper class was a mildly diverting device, but irrelevant to the rightness or otherwise of the decision to shoot Grey Squirrels, the question on which the whole article is predicated.

Typical that their squirrels are bigger and better than ours. They probably carry guns too.

there's only one way to find out - FIGHT!!!!

I prefer The Word when it reaches beyond music - I want stuff like Andrews, and the lady who wrote about 70's sit coms. It means one less article about Pink Floyd.

I watched Floyd on Food the other night and when he said that Goa was a nice place to holiday I was appalled. If I wanted travel advice I'd watch Wish you Were Here! Stick to your knitting Floyd! Similarly, Judith Charmers commented on some Paella being nice in Lloret de Mar. come on love, your not fooling anyone, we'll let Fanny Craddock be the judge of that.

Just read the squirrel piece. Nice one Mr H! If you can stir up more responses half as hilarious and illogical as these you'll keep me laughing through economic blight and misery in 2009. I guess while we all try and hold on to our jobs, income and homes our friend with the shotgun will prioritise the next 20,000 deaths. what a strange world.

Meanwhile, in the anitpodes...

http://www.centralotagonz.com/index.cfm/bunny

...nary a toff amongst them. Jann Wenner should have sent Hunter to cover this one.

deserve? begging for it more like!

Andrew Collins’ flippant remarks regarding Grey Squirrels have clearly raised the ire of many on this website. The ensuing argument at one point threatened to tear the very fabric of the internet asunder. Therefore, it is of vital importance that we do everything in our power to ensure that something of this nature can never happen again.

The common sense solution is that all future articles mooted to appear in WORD undergo a stringent process of peer review, similar to the one required by any scientific paper that hopes to attain a level of credibility. Each submission should be carefully scrutinised by an interdisciplinary panel of experts who can explain, in the driest terms possible, why a particular paragraph is both unfunny and grossly inaccurate. It is hoped that the panel will also be able to draw on their expertise in suggesting appropriate substitutions for any omitted text. For example, a description of the ionic bond formed between magnesium and oxygen that can also pass as a waspish comment on the creative inertia of Oasis.

In future, writers should be required to quote sources at the bottom of their articles. Rob Fitzpatrick’s piece on the metal band Anvil begins with the sentence: “You couldn’t make SPINAL TAP now.” He follows this statement with some cursory cultural analysis. Under my new proposals, Rob would be required to provide detailed breakdowns of the cost of making movies in 2008, along with data-backed analysis of social and cultural signifiers, culled from an approved third-party source.

To supplement the measures outlined above, I also propose the establishment of an independent body to review cases in which a writer is deemed to have ventured beyond their area of empirical expertise and, in doing so, caused genuine grievance and distress to a significant proportion of the readership.

Mr Collins has clearly alienated the Red Squirrel-loving demographic, who have probably abandoned the WORD en-masse and gone back to reading Kerrang! and Terrorizer. The review board, as part of their remit, would be granted powers to administer punishments on a sliding scale, taking into account the nature of the offence and the previous character of the offender. A serial trouble-maker like Mr Collins might be issued with a verbal restraining order, which bans him from using any word that appears within 500 entries of ‘Squirrel’ in the Oxford English Dictionary. Or he may be required to undergo sensitivity training; in this case repeated viewings of The Tales of Beatrix Potter, cut with subliminal messages such as:

“The Titanic sank because Grey Squirrels stole all the rivets and buried them in a big hole.”

Or

“The actions of unionised Grey Squirrels were a contributing factor in the relative commercial failure of the last Travis album.”

These are ideas which aim to strike middle ground between the advocates of free speech and the hard-nosed objectivism of the scientific community. I hope that people on both sides of the debate will listen and give what I have said the serious consideration it deserves.

to this magazine:

http://www.nzmagazineshop.co.nz/nz-magazine-shop/cover/89/nz-pig-hunter/...

Though I firmly hold with Backward's view of the way forward.

I'd like to get involved in this heated debate but would be grateful if someone could help with the following first:

Is saying that something is "only an opinion" a get-out clause that can apply to any belief/statement, however delusional, misguided or damaging? Not saying that any poster is guilty of any of these, btw.

Is it possible to have an opinion that can be taken seriously when the issue has science, rather than art, at its heart, but the opinion is based on purely subjective criteria?

Does the factual/research/evidence base of science negate any opinion that then doesn't make use of these facts/findings?

Is it, in fact, sometimes necessary to take steps that may not fit with our preferred world view in pursuit of the greater good?

This is light-hearted, obviously, and I'm not expecting anyone to read these and suddenly think "oh wow, with these questions he has really opened my eyes to the issues at the heart of this debate. I must immediately re-think all of my opinions."

are none of the anti-collins brigade addressing his point regarding the blood lust?I took the article to be a personal opinion against the enjoyment of hurting animals.
Still a lot of "scientists" also work at Huntingdon.

What is it with AC's obsession with the Mitfords and Moseleys of this world? Not a blog or podcast goes by without them being shoehorned in. Are they really that interesting?

But the whole point of the cull, lets not forget, is to try and protect some of Britain's rare species that are threatened by the grey squirrel's advance. I am happy to accept that the cull might not work. Or that there might be alternative, more humane methods to achieve the same ends. Conservation is about finding pragmatic solutions to often complex and difficult questions. Andrew Collins, and those who support his view, don't seem terribly intersted in addressing these issues, preferring to stick to simple toff-bashing instead.

That's unfair. There was some good stuff about Man's desire to micro manage the environment and the species within it until somebody suggested a bacteria needs as much protection as a badger or something. Its the anti-Collins handful that immediately declare "sorry, you dont know enough about this to have a valid opinion" as soon as the going gets fun.

The squirrel is quite literally out of the bag and everything has cause and effect. Can the grey squirrel be stopped? Should we just live with the consequences of our ancestors removing species from their natural habitat? Should we stick some red ones in a zoo? Is getting 8 at a time with a shotgun really the answer? Agriculture? good question. Economic progress cant be stopped but unsustainable economic progress must be. Livestock farming (if I remeber correctly) is the second biggest producer of greenhouse gasses after industry, for all those millions of burgers that get thrown away while fellow humans starve. Agriculture is nowt without a change in attitude to the environment. We can't manage nature without fouling it up as proved time and time again. For those reasons alone I am bothered about these lads and lasses shoot these squirrels in the head.

you say that like it's a bad thing

Who cuts his grass practices conservation.
I don't hurt animals - slugs, flies & wasps are safe in my house - but I'm quite keen on meat & rendered animal product, so my moral high ground resides somewhere below Andrew's. Squirrels are cute & I love watching their acrobatic displays, even when the acrobats have entered stage left from the eaves of my house But they're also voracious and relentless destroyers of everything wooden AND breed faster than the girls from my local sink estate. A cull of 20000 squirrels seems quite a balanced response to a problem that's only going to get worse, even if it is perpetrated by the sort of eejit Andrew writes of; it sort of goes with the territory that most people who kill animals for fun or for a living don't feel anything for them because they don't feel much at all, irrespective of class. I met a not remotely posh guy who wielded a bolt gun through the last Foot & Mouth cull and there was nothing going on behind his eyes when discussing his grim but necessary (Andrew?) work.
So, Martin, I'm on your side even though you got a bit narky back there. Mind you, Brother Collins can be a chippy sod too. Anyway, where's Fuzzyface when we need him?

"...AND breed faster than the girls from my local sink estate."

So, no need to kill the cuddly critters, just stop them breeding. I claim my government grant and humanitarian-of-the-year award.

Wha? I dunno. Put them on the pill. Give them an ASBO. Let the bloke squirrels watch Match Of The Day on Saturday night or sumfink. I'm busy spending my grant.

163 posts all on one page? "New" searching working like a dream? Wow, it really is Christmas!

we should shoot them - both red and grey - what purpose do they have?
Then we could carry on with rats, mice and any other rodent. Then maybe we could progress to dogs, horses,cats etc etc.

what the Grateful Dead are doing now?

what the Grateful Dead are doing now?

The Italian for squirrel is scoiattolo, which is my second favourite Italian word. My favourite? Boh...

Would this thread be an example of "The Long Tail" which I keep hearing about?

*gets coat*

I thought Andrew's piece was an entertaining read. It didn't wind me up at all. I think Martin's blog about it is a massive over-reaction, especially the nonsensical reference to AIDS.

As to the idea that Word should stick to music, it wouldn't be half as enjoyable a magazine if it did. It's the sheer variety of content that makes it so good.

I think it is time I shared my squirrel story with the Massive. On Hampstead Heath in North London there is a tree that is called the Lovers Tree. It is so called because it is hollow, with enough room for two people to squeeze inside. Over the decades fawning couples have climbed in and carved 'Tracy ♥ Rapunzel' or whatever into the wood. So the inside of the tree is a patchwork of graffiti dating back at least 150 years. I decided to photograph the inside of the tree, and clambered in with my tripod and set to work. After a while I looked out of a hole in the tree and saw a squirrel tearing across the ground outside being pursued by a very menacing dog. Before I knew it the terrified animal had sought sanctuary in the tree I was in. It saw me, looked very alarmed and seemed to be deliberating as to what was more worrying; me or the dog. I soon found out as it darted off through another hole to be met with the dog on its tail once more....

There ends my squirrel story. They're delicious, by the way.

that a squirrel killed JFK.

Bloody hell, the scoreboard’s ticking over faster than when Sachin Tendulkar was tucking into Monty on Monday.

Shall we call a truce? In the spirit of Christmas can I extend a sincere hand of friendship to everyone on here and beyond. One last thing: Vulpes Vulpes, you're not John Foxx are you? If so I've just bought your Best Of CD and I think its the business. If you're not, then as you were.

Happy Christmas.

Nobody thinks Andrew Collins is responsible for the death of JFK .

Pebbledash may be used by more than one creature to its advantage .

No statement can be expressed as a statement unless it has been through a peer review .

Americans have a lot of guns, but none of them have any class as they do not run a land rover which is fueled by the distilled remains of chip fat from Hexam , and know that true tweed smells slightly of piss when wet .

Youtube will always fill your need for dancing cats .

And a pebble dropped into the correct pool can cause a great number of waves .

what did i miss?

about his rant on air fresheners. It would have looked feeble next to this.

It has truly enriched my life in a way that I never thought a magazine, a website and, indeed, a podcast could do. I've bought every issue so far (this month, twice - where's my subscription copy) been on the blog at least, like always, and here we are, on a Tuesday evening, 9 days before Christmas, discussing the culling of Squirrels. Does life get better than this?

This is like our own little version of Brand and Ross without the swearing and the goth granddaughter (although incidentally I believe PJ Harvey is pro-hunting).

This thread now seems to be pinned to the top of the blog. It doesn't get pushed down as new threads are added. Why's that then? Inquiring minds wish to know

will see the squirrel at the top of the page and go...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

and I was right about the badgers. Merry Christmas each and every one of you.

I've changed my daughter's nappy, hoovered the carpet, finished the washing up (and put away) and got the meal on the go. A large glass of red wine sits to my left and I suddenly have a second wind.

Andrew Collins states that his love of living creatures is not based on furriness or cuddliness (he likes flies and squirrels). So what is it based on? He also states that comparing a squirrel to a bacterium is a bit outlandish. But is it? All living things - humans, squirrels, flies, bacteria - are cut from the same chemical cloth. As a self-proclaimed Darwinist, I would expect him to know this. So why is it outlandish of me to query his views on bacteria, parasites and the like? I'm genuinely intrigued as to what criteria he is using to form the basis of his judgement.

And as for flies, well I feel some perspective is required. Flies, in all their various forms, are the real party poopers of the animal kingdom. Few creatures cause more misery and suffering to the human race than flies, and the parasites they carry. In case anyone is interested, my personal favourites are the screw-worm flies, which like to lay their eggs in the ears, mouth, nose and genitals of their unfortunate victims. Given half a chance, these things will literally eat you from the inside out. Bless.

I'll bet that if the (or, indeed, a) grey squirrel had actually learned to master the practise of shotgun manipulation, he'd be blasting away at the surrounding trees and holding his trophies up, with the best of gap-toothed grins. It's hardly The Mitfords's fault they're one step ahead in terms of opposable thumbs.

... now, I'm off to bed.

Wonder will there be any new posts in the morning?

I think it behooves me to say Arse Biscuits!
There, that's better.

will mr Collins forthcoming piece on aforesaid be about the band or some misbegotten vermin from the north

.. there used to be a load of red squirrels but they´ve all gone and been replaced by grey houses.

coming over here taking our nuts

that no-one has taken Mr Collins to task about his outrageous, despicable and offensive attitude to the tonsorially-challenged.

Why was it relevant to mention that the object of his revulsion was "congenitally balding"? And what other kind of baldness is there? Or does he think that baldness can happen by wearing a hat too often, or washing your hair too much, or not enough?

Or was this some kind of "gag" that was meant to suggest that the toffs engage in in-breeding?

Would he have described the toff as being short-sighted, ginger or short with the same degree of spite?

Bald men have more testosterone and more free time, so if we ever meet I will take pleasure in administering a lengthy kicking, you short-arsed, hairist bastard!

A squirrel ran onto the pitch at Highbury during the Champions League semi-final against Villareal back in the 2005/06 season. Is this a record?

Still not got around to re-reading the piece in question but if it has achieved anything perhaps it has curbed my bloodlust for killing flies. I will go out of my way to put out a stray spider and my hatred for wasps was ended by hearing how useful they are in the garden. So now I will merely shoo the flying germ spreaders out of the house in future and pray they hit the web of my eight-legged friends, thus ensuring the circle of life continues.

* Cue Lion King music *

Now, more serious issues. How do we stop X Factor getting to number 1

They chomped their way through all the copies of magazines I've worked on over the years, as well as one's I haven't. They ate through boxes and record sleeves too. The place was in a terrible mess. It was driving our cat wild. I successfully got rid of them.

They're still cute though.

if squirrels are prog or not? Or are the reds prog and the greys are the punk movement?

I'm shocked...and stunned.

Fat grey squirrel
All puffed up with nuts and barley and stuff
Sits and squats like a spectre at the feast
Of Lupercal

But here comes gunman
One thing on his drink-sodden mind
To shoot Brer Squirrel
Blast him into life hereafter

Run squirrel run
Away from this dark swamp
Off into that big pile of dung over there
Here on Coney Island
(Went a bit Van at the end there, but will this do? -S.H.)

In 2007 - "You're just a shit Stuart Maconie."

In 2008 - "You're just a shit Bill Oddie"